Comparing
by Warfang
Summary: Mikado and Kida get into a fight over who's right...or who's closer to the truth. The tie-breaker in this debate? Erika.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Durarara! Warning for any spoilers that slip in, and general craziness. What can I say; it made sense at two in the morning.

On with the story!

Mikado and Kida were in the park. No, they weren't on a date. Well, they weren't on a romantic date. They were in a furious debate and needed Erika to help settle the argument. The text had been sent to her at three that morning, and they had agreed to meet in the park by ten in the morning.

The argument had flared up again while they waited.

"I'm telling you, even you're right, mine still makes sense."

"And I'm telling you, he's plain evil and can't be repentant. He uses pawns, for crying out loud!"

Mikado remained calm while Kida paced and vented. Finally, the van came around the corner.

"We got your text! What's the argument over?" Erika hopped out of the van.

"Which anime character Orihara Izaya is more like." Mikado stated in a flat voice.

Kadota wondered how the heck this could involve them. The next words stopped his musings and started his feet back to the van. He wasn't needed here.

"I say that Orihara-san is more like Yuko Ichihara from xxxHolic. He deals with information and equal exchange, she deals with wishes. Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you die. It depends on what the wisher puts into it. Kida-kun disagrees." Mikado reclined in his seat, while Kida-kun launched into his reasoning.

"I say he's more like that bastard, Kuran Kaname. They always manipulate people, and despite being surrounded by people, he has no actual friends. There's never telling what his main objective is until it's too late. Plus, he stays on top of the food chain."

Kida stopped ranting long enough to realize they were drawing attention.

Kadota stopped walking over to the van and hung back. It would be interesting to hang around and see what happened. Especially if Izaya himself showed up. He surveyed the park for anyone who was pulling out a cell phone to call Izaya about what they just heard.

Erika was nodding her head, holding her chin and thinking. "Hmmm…you both may be right. But the anime character I think suits Orihara-san the best would be…."

Both boys leaned in closer. If she could settle this for them, they could forget the fight ever happened.

"Grell Sutcliffe!"

Silence reigned.

The birds in the park twittered.

"Ah, how exactly would Orihara-san fit that description? Isn't Grell a bit….clumsy?" Mikado asked, thinking about the Kuroshitsuji manga he would never admit to skimming through. He was a bit hesitant to find out where this train of logic came from.

"Ah, but that's the point! Is Grell actually clumsy? He certainly knows how to fight, what if it's all a cover up? They both act childish. They both deal in death, and mingle in affairs that really shouldn't concern them. They both like to hit on guys that want to kill them."

Kida was nodding along before he snapped out of it.

"Ah, but what about his fashion sense? Isn't Grell flamboyant in his red trench coat?"

Mikado nodded.

"Well, Izaya certainly fits nicely into his fur lined parka in the middle of summer, don't you think?" Erika countered.

"Ah, that does work. Okay, so Orihara Izaya is the most like Grell Sutcliffe. Thanks, Erika-san."

"Yeah, thanks Erika-san. We'll treat you to Russia Sushi. Mikado and I both got jobs for the summer. Yes, they're legal, standard jobs." He added, seeing Kadota's face. The group climbed into the van and headed off for Russia Sushi.

Meanwhile, standing behind the tree near the bench Mikado had vacated, frozen in shock, Orihara Izaya was coming to grips with his beloved humans comparing him to a flamboyant rule-breaking Shinigami.

A/N: Yeah, that was crack. Like I said, it made more sense at two in the morning. Please don't kill me for having this conversation with myself.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note- One, I do not own Durarara. Two, I should be working on other stories. Three, I never thought I'd come back to this conversation.

Compare, Chapter Two

Izaya skipped down the lane, humming. After hearing about the text at three in the morning, he had wondered what his two humans had been up to.

It was rare for Mikado to get into an argument, but for them to be consulting Erika instead of him….no, it did not grate on him that they didn't go to the information broker, after all, he didn't deal in that kind of information about manga and voice actors and anime and traits.

Well, he hadn't.

* * *

><p>Across town, Namie sighed as she stacked the magazines Izaya had demanded she run out an get a few minutes ago. But why he wanted magazines about manga, she decided not to ask. It was probably just something for manipulation.<p>

And she wasn't throwing that stone to get an avalanche dropped on her in return, finding out everything she could about what Seiji liked-

Namie felt a chill. What if Izaya decided he 'loved' a human like that?

She uttered a short prayer for whoever it was, and went about her work.

* * *

><p>Izaya got back from work later that night, grabbed a magazine and sat down to read.<p>

* * *

><p>Yawning, Izaya tossed the last magazine back onto the pile and looked at the clock. He jumped, and flew into the kitchen.<p>

"Ah, ah, no coffee for you, I already checked, you don't have anything scheduled until this evening." Namie ordered, menacing him with the feather duster.

Izaya sighed, before turning around to give her a cheery smile.

"And I help them, yes I do. Now it's happened once or twice, someone couldn't pay the price, and I'm afraid…" The voice cut out as Namie answered the phone.

Izaya looked at her. Last he had checked, they had a normal ring tone for the work phone. But the one in the kitchen seemed to have a woman singing out of it. Snapping himself out of it, he realized that Namie must have changed the ringtone.

"Yes, thank you. I will tell him."

Namie hung up, and Izaya looked at the phone. Maybe he was just more tired than he thought.

"Namie…why was there a woman singing through my phone?"

"The woman is the voice actor for Ursula, an underwater sea witch in a Disney film. You remind me of her."

With that, Namie wrote something down on a sticky note and walked in to the living room. Izaya trailed after her, and flopped down on a couch.

What the heck was a Disney film? And he reminded her of a sea witch?

Izaya fell asleep on the couch, as Namie finished tidying up the workplace. She threw a blanket over him, not wanting to hear tomorrow about how cold hearted she was, a threat to docking her pay for not taking care of him, and the threat of taking care of him.

Of course, now he might bother her about taking care of him and having a caring heart, or Izaya would rag on her about having a caring heart when he damn well knew she did this just to avoid further problems.

Namie sighed, and closed up shop.


End file.
